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Books on Sex
 Sex Over 50
By Joel D. Block, Ph.D. with Susan Crain
Bakos, 1999 (Amazon price: $11.20)
This book is a collection of techniques and encouragements, as well as facts and
information. The information is presented in the excited tone of voice of mass circulation
magazines, "hundreds of sizzling sex secrets to turn your deepest sexual desires into
…uninhibited pleasures… and real passion…" This, the editors claim is
an example of "direct, no-nonsense" talk. For my own taste, it’s like
verbal MSG. However, I humbly acknowledge that we each have our own taste in erotic
literature. Still, it’s a good survey and has lots of interesting ideas.
-PB
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 Still Doing it: Women and Men over Sixty write about their sexuality Joani Blank,
Editor, 2000 (Amazon price:$10.00)
Be forewarned that these erotic
stories are extremely graphic, with take-no-prisoners descriptions of body parts, arousal
techniques, connections, positions, and releases. The writers' sexual orientations are an
assortment of straight, gay, and bisexual. Some are into bondage and discipline and
sadomasochism. What makes these stories different from usual erotic literature is that age
is a major player. Whether the writer is having sex after heart surgery, self-conscious
about a wrinkly stomach hanging down, making love without an erection, experiencing leg
cramps in certain positions, or worrying about the dentures ("What do I do with them
when my lover's staying overnight?"), age is an unabashed participant in the sex act.
Yet despite the challenges, most report that sex after 60 is the best they've ever had! -
PB
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Books on Spirituality
 The Road Less Traveled : A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
by M. Scott
Peck (Amazon price $6.29)
Hailed as one of the great spiritual books of the
century, "The Road Less
Traveled" has already given more than two million grateful readers an inspirational
framework for achieving profound personal growth and satisfaction. Dr. Peck's
crucial premise- that life is hard- is challenging for even the strongest among us, but
his art lies in his ability to lead us to accept, and ultimately transcend, this
idea. Never before have psychological and spiritual guidance come together so
powerfully. It's not the easiest road---but it is the only one worth taking. Let Dr.
Peck's remarkable achievement help you find your way as you journey today, and every day
of your life. - SP
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 Living Presence: A Sufi Way to
Mindfulness and the Essential Self
by Kabir Edmund Helminski (Amazon price $11.96)
It may seem strange to add a book written by an American
Sufi to this midlife collection, but this is an exceptional, clear, and easy to read book
on an important subject. An excellent book for someone seeking information about how to
live as a fully present spiritual being in our world. The chapters are short, digestible
chunks in clearly written language, and include excerpts from Rumi's extraordinary poetry,
as well as Helminski's wisdom garnered from more than two decades of Sufi study, practice,
and leadership. This book balances the practical and the beautiful, and shows the
sacredness inherent in human life. Someone who is remembering his or her connection to
God, or wants to know how to remember that remembrance, will find "Living
Presence" both useful and a joy to read. I highly recommend this book for anyone,
both absolute beginners and those further along the path! - SP
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 Sex, Love, and Marriage in the 21st
Century:
The Next Sexual Revolution by Robert
Francoeur, Martha Cornog and Timothy Perper, 1999. (Amazon price: $14.95)
This is a very interesting book.
It is one of the places where I came to understand that midlife dating happens in a
de-regulated atmosphere. It is a collection of personal stories by clergy persons, and
other spiritually aware and committed people trying to connect their spirituality and
their sexual needs. Every story is about some unorthodox exploration, some willing entry
into the dark and pathless forest. There are no easy answers but many stories of honorable
struggle. - PB
I would
like to add a caveat to prospective readers of this book: the choices of
sexual freedom advocated by most of the contributors of this book would not work, in my
opinion, for most marriages. A couple would have to exceptionally mature and loving to be
able to live the lifestyles advocated here! - SP
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 All About Love: New Visions
by Bell Hooks (Amazon price $10.40) In her own unique way, Hooks, a woman over 40, has written a
fine and thoughtful book about the true meaning of love. She beautifully weaves her
childhood search for that emotion with society's misuse (and dire
need) of it. "All About Love" takes apart the sentimental and often fleeting
aspects of romance, stuck in the muddled urges of sex, and details the problems that arise
from the confusion between the two. What Hooks does best is reveal that the true force of
love lies in its spiritual, redemptive power, which can impact positively on humankind. -
SP
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Enneagram
Books
The Essential
Enneagram: The
Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide by
David Daniels and Virginia Price (Amazon Price $8.00)
This smart little book was originally published as The
Stanford Enneagram Discovery Inventory and Guide. It has a quick self test that
you can also use to make guesses about your partners, work colleagues, friends
and parents. It is extremely useful and it helps you answer on of the main
questions people ask themselves about others: "Where is this person coming
from?" I recommend it as a companion purchase with (and the way in to)
Helen Palmer's book, The Enneagram in Love and Work. Read my comments there for
why I think it is so useful. - PB
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 The Enneagram in Love &
Work: Understanding Your Intimate & Business Relationships
by
Helen Palmer and David Daniels (Amazon price: $11.17)
This is one of the most useful tools I have in helping
people to see their emotional and relationship habits. We all do much better in
life when we know who were are. This book helps you see your own habits and it
helps you understand others. My own training is in the tradition of Alfred
Adler, a contemporary of Freud. Adler disagreed with Freud and said that the
best way to understand another person is to understand what kind of relationship
they are trying to create with you. The enneagram is better than anything else I
know at helping you develop the best first guess about another person.
It's not astrology and it's not about mental disorders.
It is about style. This ancient method, which seems to come from the Sufi
tradition takes the spectrum of human behavior and divides it up into nine
colors, nine types. People who have not gone through their midlife
transformation tend to be stuck in one style. They tend to be rigid. The
enneagram is a tool for recognizing rigidity in others and in yourself. Helen
Palmer is clear, compassionate, and wise. The book is dense and useful. The
promise on the cover, "Understanding your intimate and business
relationships" is true. -PB
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 The Wisdom of the
Enneagram: The
Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types
by Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson (Amazon price $14.36)
Here's my favorite of the enneagram
books! Recommended by two highly credible authorities,
consciousness explorer Ken Wilber and spiritual-growth guru Harville Hendrix, this
compendium of Enneagram information was assembled by the cofounders of the Enneagram
Institute as an introduction to the subject. Designed with a plenitude of charts, boxes,
and quotes (by noted luminaries such as Maya Angelou, and G.I.
Gurjieff), this
exceptionally easy-to-use, manual-size paperback teaches the reader how to figure out
which of the nine types she is, identifies red flags to self-illusion, and provides
practical suggestions for spiritual growth. Advice on how to observe your type's fixations
and let go of the need to act out automatic and dysfunctional behavioral responses are
down-to-earth and attainable. A distinctly accessible approach to cultivating daily
happiness through understanding the complexity of fixations that weave together human
personality types. - SP
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Other Books of
Interest
 Once upon a Midlife :
Classic Stories and Mythic Tales to Illuminate the
Middle Years
by Allan B., M.D. Chinen (Amazon price $11.16) In order to better understand the crises of his middle-aged
patients, Dr. Chinen's search led him to centuries-old stories from the oral tradition.
These stories tell what happens in the "ever after", when the Prince goes bald
and the Princesses has a midlife crisis. They portray middle-aged men and women facing the
issues of midlife: the loss of ideals; gender differences; dealing with crisis; aging and
mortality; and the desire for renewal. Listeners will find that many midlife crisis are
universal and timeless and that their ultimate resolutions as described in these stories
guide them through the peaks and valleys of midlife. - SP
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